


i still orbit you (and nothing has changed)

by luvsyong



Category: X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Tragedy, Domestic Fluff, End of the World, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, M/M, but its not that bad, im bad at tagging oops, my apologies i dont know why i made this sad, there is literally nobody else but seungyoun and wooseok lmfao, theres kissing, they have cute moments, this is basically just angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:20:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24718930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luvsyong/pseuds/luvsyong
Summary: with the world ending in just four days, seungyoun doesn't think he'd want to see his ex-boyfriend one last time.expectations were never his reality, anyway.
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 28





	i still orbit you (and nothing has changed)

**Author's Note:**

> the title is an english translation from a lyric from 134340!!! it’s one of my favourite songs that never fails to make me extremely sad. prepare yourself for this i guess hahah

seungyoun wakes up to the annoying sound of his alarm, blaring in his ears. seungyoun groans out in disappointment. he must’ve forgotten to turn off his usual work alarm. naturally, with the world ending in four days, there’s no way his manager would want him to come and deliver pizza. (or, maybe he did, but seungyoun blatantly ignored him anyway.)

seungyoun drags himself out of his sleepless bed and heads to the bathroom lazily. he examines the bathroom for a second— his towel is on the gritty floor and the toothpaste is almost all gone. the toilet paper hasn’t been used up yet, and he still has enough body wash to last a good 2 months. too bad he won’t get to use it all. seungyoun promptly checks his phone with the only sound in his quiet apartment being the sounds of the bristles brushing against his teeth.

**_THE METEOR IS SET TO HIT EARTH IN APPROXIMATELY FOUR DAYS. click here to see a live countdown_ **

seungyoun scoffs reading the outrageous headline. a countdown? as if this was the new years? he supposes that humans will still be stupid even when they have nothing but four dreadful days left to live.

**_THE WORLD IS ENDING TRAGICALLY IN FOUR DAYS. here’s how to make the most of your time._ **

that article catches seungyoun’s attention. hm, maybe he did need to do something worthwhile.

**_#1: text someone you love_**.

seungyoun freezes. he instantly wishes he hadn’t read that article. of course, reading that line, the only person seungyoun can think of is wooseok. kim wooseok, the only person seungyoun has ever loved before. the only person who could instantly give seungyoun an endless number of butterflies by just looking at him. and when wooseok smiled— it felt like the entire world stopped to appreciate it. it’s almost silly how much seungyoun still loves wooseok, even when they broke up a year ago. seungyoun doesn’t want to think about it. not when there a million things that are more important right now.

and so, seungyoun devotes the next few hours the way he would if it were just a regular saturday— he watches tv, walks aimlessly around his apartment, and sorts through a few of his personal belongings. after (inevitably) seeing an old picture of him and wooseok, he decides to let the old dusty box be. seungyoun rummages through his kitchen. there’s barely any proper food left— an old pepperoni pizza which a costumer had deemed “too soggy” (so seungyoun took it home, because he wouldn’t pass up the opportunity for free food) and a few raw vegetables that look like they’d decrease seungyoun’s lifespan. not that that matters now, he supposes.

he takes out the old pizza box; it’s probably been sitting in his fridge for a week. seungyoun thinks he should’ve gone grocery shopping a lot earlier, since all the grocery shops are closed now. sighing wearily, he reheats the pizza in the microwave and stares blankly at it rotating. seungyoun thinks bitterly about his life. he thinks about all the times he was overjoyed, gloomy, or even annoyed. did he indeed live his short 23 years of life to the fullest? for all one knows, maybe he did. maybe his rare moments of short-lived happiness could make him to feel the slightest bit fulfilled right now. (he's undoubtedly just lying to himself, but there isn’t anything he can do regardless.)

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

_“you’re so stupid. too stupid for me to even comprehend.” laughs wooseok, his whole body shaking with laughter. seungyoun’s giggling with him too, carefully looking at the dreadful mess he made in the kitchen. the overwhelming smell of burnt food is filling up the room, while smoke (that seungyoun and wooseok had tried to dust out) is slightly clouding seungyoun’s vision._

_“i might be stupid, but you still love me.” seungyoun counters. wooseok stares at seungyoun admiringly, and nods. “definitely, i’m in love with a big idiot.” wooseok starts to put all the pans in the sink, sighing at the burnt substances sticking to it. “remind me to never let you cook ever again. i’ll do all the cooking from now on.”_

_seungyoun nods. “aye aye, captain!”_

_“but since we need to clean all this up now, i want something.” wooseok says, his pleasant tone almost seeming serious. seungyoun curiously raises his eyebrow. “and what would that be?”_

_wooseok smirks and quickly presses a fond kiss to seungyoun’s gentle lips. the elder is delightfully surprised, eyes widening and cheeks delicately flushing a faint shade of rosy pink. “why do you still get so nervous when i kiss you?” wooseok asks quietly and seungyoun whines, embarrassed. “just shut up and do it again.”_

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

seungyoun carefully opens his sunken eyes, breathing heavily. when did he even fall asleep? there’s a half-eaten pizza on the table, seungyoun supposes he might’ve just taken a nap. that would’ve been fine. however, the dream he had was certainly not _fine_. in fact, seungyoun didn’t want to remember that memory. those memories. his memories with wooseok. they hurt him a little more than he’d like to admit.

with a dull ache now present in his chest, seungyoun proceeds with his night a little more miserably. every corner of his shabby apartment reminds him of wooseok, and he hates it. seungyoun checks the “countdown for the end of the world”. there are three days and 14 hours left, but seungyoun wishes the time would just hurry up. maybe he wants to stop remembering the things he no longer has.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

seungyoun lies awake in the dreadful darkness of his room. he’s been trying to fall asleep for god-knows-how-long, yet there's a thought constantly circulating his mind. kim wooseok. he’s curious as to how wooseok is doing. is he still alive? is he dating someone new? is he even thinking about seungyoun?

seungyoun checks his phone, the glowing screen displaying the numbers **5:21 am**.

seungyoun gets the strong urge to text wooseok. he really, really doesn’t want to, but at the same time, he definitely does. without thinking, his finger slides to the contact that is oh-so-familiar and he sends a text before he can regret it. seungyoun places his phone down and closes his eyes, his heart beating rapidly. did he really just do that? before seungyoun can overthink any further, a vibration surprises him.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

[ _cho seungyoun_ ] **5:25 am**

hi.

[ _kim wooseok_ ] **5:26 am**

hey

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

seungyoun panics. wooseok has only said one word to him, yet his heart is beating so loudly he instantly feels like he might explode.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

[ _cho seungyoun_ ] **5:28 am**

you’re up early haha!

[ _kim wooseok_ ] **5:28 am**

i could say the same for yourself.

[ _cho seungyoun_ ] **5:28 am**

how are you?

[ _kim wooseok_ ] **5:29 am**

i’m good. well, as good as i can get with the world ending in three days.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

seungyoun gently lets out a little laugh. he terribly misses wooseok. before he can type out a reply, wooseok promptly sends another text.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

[ _kim wooseok_ ] **5:31 am**

wanna meet up tomorrow?

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

any hopes of falling asleep are out the window.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

it’s the next day already, and seungyoun finds himself embarrassingly energetic despite getting merely two hours of impossible sleep. he quickly gets ready; carefully brushing his hair for the first time in a month and putting on fresh clothes that he hasn’t worn in a while. he walks out his door with a pep in his step.

they arranged to meet at a park. everywhere else was closed, so the park seemed like the best option. not that seungyoun really cared— as long as wooseok was there, he’d be willing to go anywhere. seungyoun cringes at his own thoughts. he arrives a little earlier than wooseok does and sits comfortably on the swing-set. he watches his feet as he swings back and forth, waiting eagerly for wooseok. when wooseok does arrive, it takes him by surprise.

“hey!”

seungyoun turns around and sees wooseok. he thinks the whole world stops for a moment. wooseok has gotten impossibly prettier, his features more mature and even more charming. it really isn’t fair. he’s wearing a long coat that seems to swallow up his petit figure and seungyoun feels like he might die. his breath catches in his throat, and he can barely form a response.

“h-hi.” seungyoun lets out, unable to make eye contact with wooseok. his cheeks feel warm and he’s certain a rosy blush has taken over them. this was gonna be a lot harder than he’d anticipated.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

with wooseok, hours pass by like seconds. seungyoun would gladly let himself drown in the familiar sound of wooseok’s cheery voice. wooseok finishes his fascinating story about how he’d gotten lost in an oversized target and lets out a giggle. seungyoun blushes even more if possible, and embarrassingly, his stomach lets out a growl. seungyoun winces and looks down.

“you’re hungry, aren’t you? c’mon, let’s go to my house. i know you don’t have good food at yours, and we definitely aren’t letting you cook.” wooseok says thoughtfully, and seungyoun looks up at him. wooseok is smiling gracefully, his attractive features relaxed. he looks so beautiful that seungyoun feels light-headed. wooseok talks earnestly to him like they didn’t break up a year ago, like they weren’t both left in uncontrollable tears. (and it’s making his heart beat so loudly seungyoun is sure that wooseok can hear it.)

unable to reject his generous offer, seungyoun agrees and they climb into wooseok’s car. it smells overwhelmingly like wooseok. wooseok turns on the radio, the music drowning out the comfortable silence.

**_the meteor is set to strike the earth in two days. in the meantime, here are the greatest hits of the decade._ **

wooseok quietly hums along to whatever song is playing and taps his finger on the steering wheel. seungyoun peers out the window, and thinks he could get used to this. quiet drives with wooseok under the glittering stars…

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

seungyoun is lightly shaken awake by wooseok. he opens his eyes slowly and is presented with a lovely sight. “we’re here.” wooseok says softly. seungyoun mutters a quiet apology about falling asleep and wooseok only laughs gently. they ride the elevator in peaceful silence and wooseok unlocks his apartment door.

seungyoun never knew how much he dearly missed the pleasant sight of wooseok’s apartment. the apartment has barely changed, save for the fact that wooseok has a new couch. the flimsy curtains are the same curtains that seungyoun had gifted wooseok, the cheap ones he’d bought on sale. his coffee table (until now) still has that faint stain— the one wooseok had tried so desperately to remove. he had even made seungyoun spend an hour looking up “how to remove stains at home”. there are hidden memories everywhere in wooseok’s apartment, and seungyoun almost hates how comfortable he instantly feels.

“you were hungry, weren’t you?” wooseok questions, to which seungyoun simply nods. “i’ll make us something quick.”

“something quick” apparently refers to ramen. of course, not just any old ramen, but wooseok’s own special recipe. wooseok has always made ramen this specific way whenever seungyoun and him ate it, and to this day, seungyoun still doesn’t know how he does it. (it’s okay though, because wooseok would gladly make it for him again.)

they eat while having a conversation, and seungyoun laughs and smiles so much that his cheeks hurt. (he hasn’t felt like that in a long time.) after eating, seungyoun offers to wash the dishes. they both settle down and decide to watch a movie together. “which one do you want to watch?” wooseok asks. seungyoun thinks for a second. “let’s watch ‘a silent voice’.” both seungyoun and wooseok have seen this movie before, maybe even more than once. however, watching it together, neither of them seem to care. as was anticipated, seungyoun starts crying his eyes out and needing wooseok to hand him the box of tissues. “i-i've watched this movie almost three times and i still cry every time i watch it.”

wooseok laughs softly, but he’s no longer paying attention to the movie. in fact, seungyoun looks over and unintentionally catches wooseok staring at him. his cheeks heat up for what feels like the a hundredth time and seungyoun can feel wooseok’s intent gaze burning into his face.

“kiss me.” seungyoun says boldly. he holds his breath, and wooseok studies his face for a second. before seungyoun can regret his words, wooseok’s gentle lips are on his. wooseok tastes like the cherry coke he’s been sipping on during the movie, and his lips feel oh-so-familiar. seungyoun has missed this so much, and his heart feels like it might explode any second. when wooseok pulls away, seungyoun is breathless.

“how are you still so perfect after all this time?” wooseok asks rhetorically. he stares deeply into seungyoun’s eyes and seungyoun feels like he might melt into a puddle under his gaze. upon seeing seungyoun shyly blush and look away, wooseok smiles, pressing his lips against his once more. the moonlit night ends with their arms gently wrapped around each other, the unique sounds of their breaths mending together. the sounds of the movie are drowned out by the crickets outside wooseok’s window and the consistent thump of seungyoun’s heart.

why didn’t he do this sooner?

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

when seungyoun wakes up, he almost forgets there’s a meteor hitting earth in mere hours. that he won’t be able to see wooseok after today. he gets sad and feels himself tearing up, while looking at wooseok’s unguarded face as he sleeps soundly.

wooseok blinks awake and looks back at seungyoun. “why are you staring at me?”

“i don’t know, i’m just thinking about how much i missed you.” seungyoun says honestly. “well, pretty boy, i’ve missed you too, so give me another kiss.” and seungyoun does just that, because who would he be to deny him such a request? seungyoun leans forward sweetly and tenderly kisses him so much he feels lightheaded in the best way possible.

“t-the world’s ending in a few hours.” seungyoun says quietly. wooseok looks at him sadly, giving him a slight nod. “i know.” like it or not, they’ve both accepted the truth.

“that’s why we’re going for a drive.” that’s the last thing wooseok says, before they go on a road trip to the tragic end of their lives.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

the road trip is filled with them listening to early 2000s music and telling each other stories that makes the both of them laugh until their stomachs hurt. the weather is ideal— the air is refreshing and the gentle breeze sends chills down seungyoun’s spine, but it’s almost a comforting coldness. the sun shines brightly, almost too brightly. this day is too perfect to be their last.

once at the (completely empty) beach, they run around on the sand. like little kids, they chase each other around and splash the frigid turquoise water at each other. panting heavily, they both fall back into the yielding sand, consuming some of the snacks that wooseok had packed for them. “how long is left?” wooseok asks, breaking the sound of their ragged breathing. seungyoun picks up his phone and does a quick search. “two hours and fifteen minutes.”

wooseok laughs, but this time it isn’t the happy laugh that makes seungyoun want to laugh too. instead, it’s a sad one. a sound full of regrets and sadness, a sound that makes seungyoun chest hurt and his neck burn. “isn’t it depressing how the universe only decided to give us less than three days together?” seungyoun tries to laugh back at wooseok’s horribly sad joke, but the sound that comes out of his chest sounds more like a sob than anything. “it isn’t fair. this isn’t fair at all. how come the one time i finally have you, it can’t even be forever?” seungyoun ends in almost a whisper, and tears start welling up in his eyes.

this was so unfair. it was so unfair how the sky looked so beautiful when it was so close to terrible destruction. it was so unfair that wooseok looked ethereal—even unreal as he stared back at seungyoun with emotional tears streaming down his face. it was unfair that seungyoun didn’t have the bravery to call wooseok earlier. it was unfair this was the last time they’d ever see each other ever again. it was unfair because seungyoun hadn’t lived his life to the fullest. seungyoun hadn’t loved wooseok enough, hadn’t been with wooseok enough, and hadn’t made enough memories with wooseok.

no matter how much seungyoun thought about it, he wasn’t ready to leave. there was so much he needed to do with wooseok. so much he needed to tell him, so many dates he needed to take him on. seungyoun thinks about all the missed opportunities that he and wooseok and had, and by that point, ugly sobs are ripping out of his chest. he’s no longer composed, instead he’s crying so much he can barely catch his breath. wooseok, silently crying by his side, holds him tightly. he holds him like even the meteor couldn’t separate them. he holds him and tries to make up for all the words that were left unsaid— and all the words he’d never be able to say.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

there are only minutes left when seungyoun and wooseok manage to calm down. it’s so unusual, the sand around them feels softer and the wind has stopped blowing. the sparkling water has stilled and the gentle waves are calm. it seems like everything has stopped and is anticipating the end. wooseok and seungyoun hold hands tightly.

“do you think it’ll hurt?” wooseok asks.

seungyoun’s sunken chest is heavy as he responds. “maybe.”

god, he doesn’t want this to end.

“i love you, seungyoun-ah.”

“i love you too, wooseokie.”

in an instant, the cruel world is bright before everything turns to black.

.｡*ﾟ+.*.｡ ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+

_“wooseokie, if we are born again, let’s be stars in our next life.” seungyoun says cheerfully._

_“stars? why stars? what if i want to be human?” wooseok questions, giggling softly._

_“because, you are a star, wooseokie. you are my star, and i want everyone to look up at you and appreciate your beauty.”_

_wooseok laughs, and playfully hits seungyoun’s shoulder._ _“okay, seungyoun. we’ll be stars in our next life.”_

**[end]**

**Author's Note:**

> i hope you liked this fic!!! out of nowhere i got this prompt and spent three hours writing it. it’s my first fic so i hope you liked it<3 i’ll be writing more for x1, but also for other groups as well. this ff is really sad and i’m really sad now but i’m a sucker for angst so it’s all good! if you liked it please leave a comment or a kudos— or nothing even, just have a nice day!


End file.
